DIESELGATE?

We have all been CONNED. It is the “environmentalists” that are responsible for Britain’s crappy air quality.

Britain’s cities have an air quality problem. It’s true. It’s disgusting. And it’s all the fault of the morons who term themselves the “environmentalists”.

Take London for example. London’s air quality has never been great. But now – it really is bad. It didn’t used to be. Not until the hysteria surrounding C02 and buzzwords like carbon footprint  – were shoved down the throats of those who were about to fall victim to one of the worst environmental cons we have ever known.

The so called “green lobby” decided that we had to reduce our c02 emissions. If we did not act immediately  we were all going to die a horrible death; we would burn in hell and possibly drown (or both); only if we listened to wise men like Prius toting Leonardo Di Caprio (and yes, he is still a man, he has yet to declare himself to be non-binary) and women like Meryl Streep. The latter, imparting words of wisdom on us such as “..If we don’t do something there will be enormous calamities in a very short time.” I quite agree. Long ago, we should all have given her a good slap and told her ilk to shut up. Sometimes politicians fancied celebrity themselves. Al Gore springs to mind. They all had one thing in common. They revelled in the mass hysteria they were creating, and the fame and attention it brought them. They were now important. People must listen.

People must do as I say. Al, you did a good job. Persuading the sheeple by making exaggerated, and mostly nonsensical claims. I hope you enjoyed the attention.

So why is our air quality problem their fault?

No – It isn’t because they have a penchant for flying in private jets. (celebrity hypocrisy knows no bounds). Neither is it the fault of the car manufacturers that lied and cheated, and have yet to be properly held to account.

It is for one very simple reason.

Our ignorant, stupid politicians listened to their uneducated, hypocritical rants on social media that led them to implement policies like taxing cars based on C02 emissions. Diesel, diesel, diesel. Wonderful green diesel. Everyone must buy one. If you don’t, we will penalise you. We will tax your polluting unleaded cars to oblivion they said. And they did. And so we bought diesels. Millions and millions and millions of them. Governments were warned. Diesel particulate emissions are harmful to our health. The educated amongst us knew this. The ignorant sheeple, which includes most of our politicians –  ignored the real intelligencia.

Politicians traded our health for C02.

It is true that diesel has its virtues. It is more economical, more torque etc. But diesel engines have no place in a sedan, the average 4×4 or your subcompact (little car for the little minded Macrons of this world). Not where the majority of it’s use is in a congested city.

The moronic policies have failed. London is dirty. Dirty, dirty, dirty.

KAHN TO THE RESCUE!

Stabbing master in chief, Labour Mayor Saddiq Kahn will fix the problem. He is very bright you see.

Just like Diane Abbott, MP.  And with just one whipple snap of the pen! Yes that’s right. The power couple have knocked heads (or should that be two left shoes), and come up with a solution. A Tax. And it shall be called the ULEZ. How ingenious! And just like anyone that has stood next to a Euro 6 compliant Range Rover will tell you, this new tax will work. London can now breathe easy. Just like every other Labour policy, they can fix everything with a simple tax, and then spend. And then spend some more. That will teach all of you elitist diesel engine driving super rich people in your Ford Transits and Citroen Berlingos. Elitist pigs! If only you would follow the example of the good, hard working classes and drive a Bentley Mulsanne, or better yet a Rolls Royce Cullinan. – You won’t get taxed then, and restore all that is good in our green and pleasant land.

Labour is always right. It’s the dirty conservatives. It was conservative policy that made us all go and buy those dirty diesels. F**k Boris! Whoops, that was Brown and Bliar. Never mind, as long as some momentum kiddies keep jumping up and down and shouting it, it will have been conservative policy.

Yeh! F**K Boris! Everyone after me!